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    Entertainment TV News

    Thursday 19 July 2018

    Sean O'Grady

    RTE comedy series The Young Offenders has been nominated for a prestigious Rose d'Or Award – an international award that celebrates the best in TV.

    The show, based on the film of the same name, has been nominated in the sitcom category and will face competition from Channel 4's The Windsors and BBC's The Detectorists.

    To view this media, you need an HTML5 capable device or download the Adobe Flash player.

    It's the latest success for the comedy series, which took home two IFTA TV awards this year.

    Show creator Peter Foott said it was an honour to get a nod for the Rose d'Or awards, which have been around since 1961.

    "The Rose d'Or Awards are highly respected internationally, and it's a huge honour to receive a nomination for The Young Offenders in the sitcom category alongside some truly amazing shows.

    "The whole team is thrilled with the nomination, and we're always grateful to BBC3 for all their support," he told the Irish Film And Television Network.

    The Young Offenders follows the exploits of rogues Conor (Alex Murphy) and Jock (Chris Walley), including their criminal activity, an ongoing feud with their principal (PJ Gallagher) and their relationships with their principal's daughters.

    Meanwhile, Peaky Blinders, starring Cillian Murphy, has been nominated in the Drama category at the Rose d'Or awards where it will be up against The Crown and The Handmaid's Tale.

    The Rose d'Or Awards will be held in Berlin on September 13.

    Online Editors

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    Begin each day with the intention of paying attention to your thoughts and catching yourself when you are thinking undesirable thoughts.

    There are two ways to control your thoughts:

    Technique A – Interrupt and replace them Technique B – Eliminate them altogether

    This second option is what is known as peace of mind!

    The technique of interrupting and replacing is a means of reprogramming your subconscious mind. Eventually, the replacement thoughts will become the “go to” thoughts in the applicable situations.

    Use Technique A with the Inner Critic and Worrier and Technique B with the Reactor and Sleep Depriver.

    When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself (calling yourself names, disrespecting yourself, or berating yourself), interrupt it.

    You can yell (in your mind), “ Stop! No!” or, “ Enough! I’m in control now.” Then, whatever your negative thought was about yourself, replace it with an opposite or counter thought or an affirmation that begins with “I am.”

    For example, if your thought is, “I’m such a loser,” you can replace it with, “I am a Divine Creation of the Universal Spirit. I am a perfect spiritual being learning to master the human experience. I am a being of energy, light, and matter. I am magnificent, brilliant, and beautiful. I love and approve of myself just as I am.”

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    You can also have a dialogue with yourself with the intention of discrediting the ‘voice’ that created the thought, if you know whose voice it is:

    “Just because so-and-so said I was a loser doesn’t make it true. It was his or her opinion, not a statement of fact. Or maybe they were joking and I took it seriously because I’m insecure.”

    If you recognize that you have recurring self-critical thoughts, you can write out or pre-plan your counter thoughts or affirmation so you can be ready. This is the first squatter you should evict, forcefully, if necessary:

    Eliminate your worst critic and you will also diminish the presence of the other three squatters.

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    Replace him with your new best friend who supports, encourages, and enhances your life. This is a presence you want in your mind.

    Prolonged anxiety is mentally, emotionally and physically unhealthy. It can have long-term health implications.

    Fear initiates the fight or flight response, creates worry in the mind and creates anxiety in the body.

    You should be able to recognize a “worry thought” immediately by how you feel. The physiological signs that the fight or flight response of fear has kicked in are:

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    All relationships encounter points where one or both partners become irritated with the other. Ideally, many of these irritations are accepted as just part of the marriage deal. Just because your husband or wife does something that bothers you does not mean you need to bring it to his or her attention.

    Tolerating differences in behavior or in a spouse’s personality quirks are aspects of marriage that require patience and tolerance. Just as your partner does things that annoy you, you can be sure that you are equally guilty of doing things that annoy him or her. Some hurts are difficult to accept or tolerate and need to be talked about. For many people, talking about hurts and upsets is easier said than done. This may be due to partners being ineffective communicators or because one partner, or both partners is conflict-avoidant.

    Perhaps you feel unheard, dismissed or disrespected by your spouse, but are resistant to share your feelings because of a fear of causing a fight. Perhaps you have tried to communicate verbally, behaviorally, or passive-aggressively (not recommended), with little to show for it. Even though you may feel frustrated that your efforts at communication have failed, be mindful that the hurt feelings do not dissipate without the opportunity for emotionally safe conversation. Most importantly, the failure to address feelings of hurt, anger, or relationship neglect increases the potential for resentment to emerge in the relationship. Resentment develops when you repeatedly feel unheard, dismissed or feel that a spouse puts other interests ahead of you and the marriage.

    Resentment grows gradually over time due to repeated instances of feeling dismissed, undervalued, and invalidated. It feeds off of avoidance, so partners who refuse to address directly the issue of growing resentment are at much greater risk of losing their intimate connection and severely damaging the relationship. Because of the systemic nature of relationships, the origin of resentment can be difficult to pinpoint, with partners often blaming the other for the existence of any negativity between them. Mutual finger-pointing and blame can instill further distance and curtail any hopes of reconnection. When resentment exists in a marriage, the only way to heal is to face it directly.

    It may feel easier to try and ignore the feelings or to give up communicating openly altogether. This survival strategy will backfire as it only serves to create more distance between partners and fails to give a possibly ignorant partner the opportunity to rectify the hurt feelings. To diminish resentment, the hurt spouse must choose communication over choosing to ignore, and the other partner must be open to his or her feedback.

    Facing feelings of resentment directly requires emotional courage, vulnerability, and respectful speaking and listening skills. A hurt partner may open a discussion of resentment by saying, “I find myself feeling angry more often lately, and I think it is because I feel ignored every time I try to talk to you about _____. I think you may feel annoyed to have to keep hearing about it, but this issue is important to me. I am worried about continuing to feel so distant from you and what it means for our relationship. Can we please find a time to talk more about this?”

    This invitation to a discussion about feelings of resentment avoids one-sided blaming and uses “I” statements so that the hurt spouse takes ownership of his or her feelings. Additionally, it focuses on why it is important to discuss this issue—to reestablish connection and to diminish resentment. The request to schedule a time for the conversation gives both partners an opportunity to prepare and approach the discussion with a clear head, and it avoids making the approached partner feel blindsided or bombarded.

    When your spouse tries to talk to you about feelings of resentment, it is easy to become defensive or feel driven to go on the attack if you feel misunderstood or unfairly blamed. Or maybe you just feel guilty, and your instinctual self-protective response is to deny, diminish, or counterattack. All of these feelings are understandable; however, shutting down your partner’s effort at sharing his or her feelings with the hope of improving your marriage is very short-sighted. As challenging as it can feel, it is the responsibility of the approached spouse to be willing to listen to the hurt partner’s request. Listen with the knowledge that you too will have a chance to share your thoughts and feelings. Listen with the knowledge that your spouse is being vulnerable and sharing his or her feelings because he or she is feeling emotionally distant from you. See your partner inviting you to the discussion as his or her way of addressing the “red flag.” See the effort as your husband or wife working to save your marriage.

    To keep an open mind and increase opportunities to address and diminish resentment, review the following:

    Do not fall down the slippery slope of resentment by choosing to ignore it. Choose to fight it by directly confronting a problem that is affecting your relationship. You show respect for yourself and your relationship by making time to communicate openly about feelings of hurt, neglect, and anger. Diminish resentment by creating a conversational safety zone. It is difficult to initiate a vulnerable conversation when you feel resentful or dismissed, but once you and your spouse express mutual interest in rectifying your marriage, such conversation become habitual and more comfortable over time.

    “As challenging as it can feel, it is the responsibility of the approached partner to be willing to listen to the hurt partner’s request.”

    4. Practice active listening.

    5. Connect physically. For one, hug, and do have sex. For many women, this may involve a bit of fake it ’til you make it, if the situation is in the process of being resolved but isn’t there yet. For most men, sex actually serves to alleviate resentment because it’s a form of connection in its own right.

    5. Connect physically.

    Even though you both might not be in the same emotional place during the resolution process, connecting physically can help. In fact, some marriage counselors suggest that if the marriage is on a downswing, have sex at least once a day. The scheduled connection might put things in a different light and aid in resolving resentment.

    6. Meet on a bridge. This can be metaphorical and also realistic. In order to channel resentment into empathy, the “understanding bridge” will need to be gapped. Integrate the idea that “we both have to be on this bridge together.” We really can’t see what our partner is feeling until we get out on the bridge. The more steps you take, the more you can see the middle “hump” of this bridge, where you both come together in understanding the other. In order to actualize this place of mutual understanding, one idea is to literally go to a bridge nearby.

    6. Meet on a bridge.

    Pack a blanket and a light picnic snack, go to the bridge, and talk things out. The relaxing setting and fresh air can lend itself to openness, as well as taking things less seriously. The bridge has the advantage of serving as a successful means to reconnect.

    7. Engage in daily empathy actions. Empathy is not necessarily the default feeling and needs some retraining to become par for the course. Routine empathy can be actualized by checking in with our partners about how they are feeling, looking them in the eye, and regularly giving the benefit of the doubt. Once empathy becomes intrinsic behavior, resentment often becomes a thing of the past.

    7. Engage in daily empathy actions.

    Are There Limits to Unconditional Love?

    Empathy, it turns out, is the antidote to anger in relationships. As such, feelings of empathy also fuel natural Sneakers for Men Grey Fabric 2017 105 55 Hogan Grey Sneakers for Men Fabric pOXQ1A
    reduction. Not only will you hopefully come to an understanding with your life partner, you will both feel calmer.

    Making empathy a regular part of your relationship will have an impact not only on getting along better, but ultimately feeling more connected and less stressed, because it facilitates you getting out of your own head, and into your partner’s. Empathy, as such, fosters unity, transforming narcissistic into conjoined, and dismay into understanding. Empathy forges the reinvention of self that, as Alain Badiou points out, is necessary for long-lasting love.

    This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 7 Ways to Kick Anger Out of Your Relationship for Good .

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